This is what I imagine the Easter Bunny’s job is like for most of the year.
Then let’s get otter here! Let’s also all get cool t-shirts and prints and coffee mugs and clocks with this on it! Check it out.
Buy some for upcoming snow days or next Christmas here.
So the other night I had a dream. A strange dream, as mine are wont to be. To begin with, my parents turned their house into a bed and breakfast. The first tourists arrived and wanted us to show them the sites around the property. Nothing too strange about them, right?
There was also a helpful biologist guy to tell us about nature. He looked like a boy scout on safari.
As we were walking about the lake, in the middle of the day, we start to hear coyotes. No peculiar thing if it were dark, but, as I said, the middle of the day. Mr. Nature is unconcerned. “Oh,” he says, “It’s just the coyotes in the tree.”
“Coyotes in a tree? We need to start checking credentials on our nature guides,” I think. Then I look up.
I precede to drag my dog on up the hill as those nice tourists (remember them?)
This tree just got gigantic. Deal with it.
Apparently, I went to sleep as soon as I reached the house because I only know the next part because my mom showed me a youtube video of it on her phone the next morning. I should have known it was a dream right then. My mom doesn’t know how to do those things. Anyway, the coyote chase started a massive woodland battle. We’re talking every kind of animal here. From squirrels to coyotes to animals that have never set foot out here.
The battles were not all evenly matched.
If you think the baby goats won, you’d be dead wrong….much like the baby goats.
It was a vicious thing, with some animals having tiny spears and multiple cinematic camera angles. Who shot the video I don’t know. The werewolf tourists? Wolves don’t have thumbs, so were they half changed? Why were they not fighting? They started it! We shall never know!
When my dad comes back in from cleaning up the massacre on the side of the hill, he gives a report of the dead, including 42 antelope, 3 buffalo, and 8 deer, among others. He says this quite matter-of-factly. He must do this sort of thing a lot.
The next night, I dreamed I time travelled to the Titanic mid-sinking and did a little antique shopping (the boat was completely void of people). Then I jumped in the icy water to get to a lifeboat and couldn’t move because it was actually a painting. You know how thick half-dried paint can be!
No, I will not go to a psychiatrist.